After an afternoon of slaving away in the kitchen and throwing away my first batch having burned them on the bottom here we are... cupcakes!! Thanks to Patent and the Pantry for the base recipes!
1. Red velvet chocolate cupcakes with a white chocolate frosting...
2. Apple cinnamon spice cupcakes with a brown sugar cream cheese frosting dusted in cinnamon.
3. Finally a Rocky Road cupcake which is chocolate sponge cake with white and milk chocolate drops in, covering in a peppermint chocolate icing with marshmallows on top, dusted in graham crackers. HUBBA HUBBA!
I've been living here in the grand old U.S. of A for just over a year now and I'm really get into the swing of these 'holidays'. As a Brit, back home in London 'Christmas' (which we basically refer to everything that happens been the end of November and the beginning of January) means going out drinking after work with colleagues and friends several times a week, going into the office a little later than usual the following morning, all leading up to a few days of eating and drinking non-stop with your family. The same is true over here but I think people take more pride in it all over here, perhaps taking it all a little more seriously and literally too.
When I think of 'Christmas' back home - I think of... booze, parties, turkey, chocolate, more booze, family, more booze, left overs and that's it. Maybe with some Christmas music and shopping thrown into the mix.
Over here in New York the 'holiday season' takes on a whole new meaning. It's more structured, there seams to be more meaning to all too. We went to see 'THE tree' outside the Rockefeller center. We put up our Christmas decorations on Dec 1st, on the spot. People write Christmas cards to each other, every one seems to do it! Ice skating rinks have popped up all over the City, the stores are covered literally all over in Christmas lights.
I don't know, maybe the grass is just greener over here. The same sort of things happened each Christmas back home in England but I feel that over here I'm more at ease 'getting into the holiday swing'.
Anyway, on to the title of this blog post, we're having a Christmas party this weekend. A proper friends over for dinner and drinks with a Christmas theme, Christmas party. While this would usually just have me making sure there are a few crates of beer in the kitchen and a big bowl of crisps (potato chip, sorry! ;) for everyone to snack on we're going all out, taking it pretty seriously in comparison and what's more... I AM taking it very seriously!! I'm finding myself totally caught up in it all.
So...
Betty Crocker-me-up? Yes. I'm baking. Baking like it's my mission to feed the masses with sweet cakes and mouth watering frosted covered STUFF. Here's my first attempt at cupcakes... Pumpkin Spice cupcakes with vanilla cream-cheese frosting with white chocolate drops and they are AWESOME.
They were so good, I'm chuffed to bits that I actually managed to pull them off. First attempt!!
I can't take the praise though. I came across this awesome blog called Patent and the Pantry (check her out at http://patentandthepantry.wordpress.com/). This girl can cook!! (Plus her red shoes look rude, I like them... might get me some of those for Miss Musical!! ;)
Anyway, Mrs P. Pantry clearly knows her way around the kitchen and I'm hooked...
The first pumpkin and apple cupcakes are Mrs Pantry's, well basically. I've tweaked them a little just to see what happens. And the other couple of ideas she has totally inspired me to come up with... For our Christmas party this weekend I'm going to try making:
1. MORE pumpkin spice cupcakes with vanilla cream-cheese frosting
2. Red velvet cupcakes with a white chocolate frosting
3. Rocky Road cupcakes - chocolate sponge filled with marshmallow with a chocolate graham cracker and chocolate chip filled peppermint chocolate frosting.... *drool*
4. Apple spice cupcakes with an apple crumble flavoured cream-cheese frosting.
Plus, having just gone back to Patent and Pantry to make sure I got the web address correct, I saw Egg Nog Sugar Cookies?! WHAT?! HELL YES I'll be trying to make these too....!!!!
Friends, colleagues, movie enthusiasts together. Who else is sick of watching movie trailers that give away ALL of the plot, the twists and most of the best shots??
So often I hear about a movie that sounds pretty good, or see a teaser campaign's series of posters and I get really excited about it... I then watch the trailer and it's RUINED.
This afternoon I went to see The Tourist with Johnny Depp and Ang-g-g-g-elina Jolie (who still has it - HAS. IT.).
I won't discuss my thoughts of the plot itself too much, nor will I tell you to see it nor skip it, but I will tell you this - besides the last 5 mins of the movie, I felt like I had already seen the first 98.
Honestly, no joke. There were no surprises, no 'wow' moments that I didn't already know were coming, no one-liners I didn't see coming, no matter how pithy or well delivered they were. I basically could have fast-forward to the last 5 mins to see what I already thought was probably going to happen. ROBBED!
Angelina my dear, you're smoking (and your English accent is pretty good). Mr Depp, you were pretty cool and charming but guys, I want my $12 back AND the $12 I spent on a bottle of water and popcorn. ROBBED I tell you! ROBBED!
Leading up to the movie though let's talk about the trailers themselves...
First up, The Eagle - looked pretty good but it was spoiled. ROBBED
Guy goes out into the wilderness to find his Dad's missing golden eagle thing from the top of his Dad's legion's standard bearer that was lost 20 years ago.
Guy takes slave with him.
Slave turns out to already know where the Eagle is.
Guy and Slave get captured by the people who have the Eagle and defeated his Dad's legion.
Guy becomes the Slave's slave in a not so curious turn of events (that you see in the trailer)
Some kind of brotherly, respect based relationship develops between Guy and Slave, who's now the Slave's slave.
Some kind of grand, Ridley Scott / Gladiator-esque battle sees Guy get his Eagle back, sees Guy resolve his Slave-like issues, blood, guts, glory... blah
THE END.
I'll skip it thanks and wait for DVD. Even then I might not even bother because I'll see the DVD cover and remember what happens because the trailer spelled it out for me in crayon like I'm 5.
Next up, Battle: Los Angeles
Actually looks pretty good and although is basically looks like a smash between Independence Day and Skyline (barf) with the look and feel of District 9 (AMAZING). And while they didn't give too much of the plot away this probably doesn't have much of a plot to begin with, which is a bit of cheat in this context so I can't count this one for or against my argument. Bugger.
And the rest... they don't deserve having their posters put up on display...
The Dilemma. Do we really care if he tells fat-boy Kings of Queens dude about his girlfriend cheating or not? Let's face it, the movie is the trailer and you don't need to pay your $$ to find out what happens at the end. Who's cares. Besides a few quality Vince Vaughan rants it will be utter bollocks. DVD, maybe. Next.
Morning Glory. Fun, struggle, stress, going out on a limb, laughs, old guy's redemption, young girl's salvation, everyone feels a little inspired but not sure about precisely what. The end. DVD, maybe. Probably not actually, and Rachael McAdams isn't particularly engaging, interesting or hot. NEXT!
Green Hornet. Looked brilliant, looked funny, we were shown all of the good parts and it ended up being such a long trailer that I didn't want to find out when it starts to show and what happens at the end. DVD, maybe... urrghh. But it did make me think of the Green Lantern...
I'm crossing my fingers for you Mr Green Lantern, even though you're being played by Ryan Reynolds which will therefore probably mean the style of the movie will be mildly sarcastic (trying to be extremely sarcastic) and almost so tongue-in-cheek it will make me cringe. BUT you're married to Scar-Jo and I quite like how you remind of Ben Affleck, but you're NOT Ben Affleck, so I'll probably go see your movie.
Did you people not SEE Batman Begins though?! Sit down, kick back, take note. Chris Nolan and David S Goyer rock rebooting a genre that Tim "I'm an artist, I'm an artist" Burton and Joel Schumacher nearly f*cked up forever.
Anyway, I suppose I can look on the bright side and thank you movie studios for saving me an average 2 hours of my life and $12 per movie every time you release another pile of donkey crap on film (Hollywood has a 1 in 10 average for producing watchable, quality movies I feel). Your trailers tell me I all I need to know about what happens and I see all the cool bits for FREE and can then do something else for the next 2 hours. Score! (?) Hmm. I feel like I'm happy about being robbed. It's just wrong.
It's time for us all to skip watching trailers for good or give up on going to the movies.
Ooh-ooh, ahh-ahh.... etc etc. Just take one piece of candy and move on, little spookies...
Man oh man, you Americans go ape for Halloween don't you?! I have to admit though... I LOVE IT!
Being an adult just means you're free to do all the things you wanted to as a kid but weren't allowed because it was silly or you couldn't afford to. Well... I always wanted to be Batman and I always wanted a SMOKING somebody to get dressed up with. So here I am! Here we are!
The 2010 Batman and Robin, the Tall Englishman and Miss Musical.
I'm dating a rock star. Correction. I'm engaged to a rock star!!
Errr.... ok, not that kind of rock star - let me see... yes, here we go... this is more like it....
(Before I start, let me say that I'm not a lazy person, I'm not a person who takes others for granted!!)
I want to blog about a couple of wonderful things.
Quick back story: I've been feeling a bit sh*tty for a few weeks now. It feels like forever in some ways, but I'm pretty sure it's just a few weeks - ok, a month. :) Our lease was up and we were considering moving, the project I'm working on is changing day to day with new sponsors and management coming and going, my career is a bit up in the air because I'm not sure I want to stay where I am and I'm considering moving on... pile on top of that we've now got a puppy whom we both utterly adore but seems to take up all the time I used to have to relax with a coffee in the morning, or enjoy some bedroom action before breakfast (!) or go running in the evening when I get home for work.... AND pile on top of that I've had a stomach bug this week and before that a cold / bout of 'man flu'... life has been getting on top of me a little lately.
I'm also not one to moan (believe it or not!). I usually reach for a slice of pizza or ten and internalize while I eat (!) so let me come straight to my point...
My wonderful fiancée, Miss Musical, amazes me every day. I've never felt so loved, so cared for or considered before. The other day she ironed all of my shirts while I was at work. The day after that she washed all of the puppy's toys and bedding before I could get to it. The day after that she bought me a little gift (cookies... mmmmm...) and this morning - Friday morning when all I want to do it wake up and realise it's actually Saturday and I don't have to get up - this morning Miss Musical, who didn't have to get up until later in the day, got up before me to sort out the puppy with her food and cleaned her crate so I could just get up, get dressed, grab a coffee and go to work! How wonderful, how kind and how thoughtful is that?!?
I feel really spoiled at the moment. I do lots for Miss Musical too, I'd say we have a very balanced and fair relationship.... but I've never had this before! EVER! I'm the one who usually is the emotional support for the relationship, the one who always looks out for the other person, the one who always goes above and beyond. It's not often I've found that two way street. But here she is and she ROCKS!!!!!
I don't know what I've done to deserve having my love in my life. I feel so blessed.
I'm writing to you this evening feeling rather sick, twisted up inside and wanting to VOM. Apparently, Bryan Singer (X-Men, Superman Returns, Valkyrie) is going to write, produce and direct (you know it's going to be bad already, a-la the recent George Lucas approach to the new Star Wars and Indy movies, e-hem) a remake of the original Battlestar Galactica series from the 1980s. WHY?! WHY GOD DAMN IT, WHY?!?!
The original was CHEESY. It was a Star Wars knock-off when everyone realised that George Lucas was on to something and the space-opera was not a joke, not a waste of cash but a potential gold-mine. All sorts of sci-fi knock offs started to appear. This was TERRIBLE, although as a pre-10 year old boy in love with spaceships I did sort of like it (what did I know?! I was a dumb kid) - but it didn't come close to Star Wars. Anyway. Back to Bryan Singer. Really? Come on.
Usual Suspects was AMAZING. I'd give it 10/10 and;
X-Men was AMAZING. I'd give it 9/10.
But... those movies were 15 years ago and 10 years ago!!! Everything since then has essentially been PANTS. And lets take a quick look-see...
e.g.1: Superman Returns - utter disappointment, long, boring, pointless, crap. 2/10
e.g.2: Valkyrie - ok, not bad. But not great either. Yawn. Action. Yawn. Action. End. Does anyone really remember ANY of that movie? Really? I didn't think so...
Yes, he did co-produce the TV series 'House' but come on... seriously. What about JJ Abrams? Paul Greengrass? Hell, I'd take Jonathan Frakes over Bryan Singer for this movie. Anyway - I'll stop attacking ol' Bryan because I do respect him and keep holding out for that next big Usual Suspects-like movie. You can do it dude, just try harder!! But for Christ's sake - it's not going to be Battlestar sodding Galactica - the remake. No. Come on. No no no.
BSG was remade and re-imaged already, 2005-2009. It was AMAZING. It just ended. 4 solid, earth shattering seasons, last year. LAST YEAR, man!! Didn't you see it?! Come on, yes you did man. Yes you did.
BSG was INCREDIBLE. Starbuck's a bird (Katee Sackhoff - YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!! Oh my god you rocked). Edward James Olmos, Jamie Bamber (Hammersmith in the house! Represent!), James Callis (possibly the best character in a TV show - EVER), Tricia Helfer (HOLY JESUS she could act and she was HOT!) and Grace Park (I sat next to her in a restaurant in Hawaii recently!) and more. The stories, the plotlines - did I say this already? They were amazing. The themes they used, the angles they took, the bare, blunt, frighteningly real questions that we're faced with today played out in front of us every week, set in a dark, chaotic world. Forget the sci-fi element - this was a human story, a story about who we are, what we're capable of or not capable of as a race, as people, as individuals. It challenged the deepest, darkest aspects of our psyches and some our most cherished beliefs. It was engaging on so many different levels and the end of each season just got better and better until finally, the end of Season 4 - the final ever episode split across 2.5 hours of mesmerising television - I'll never forget it and I have watched it over and over and OVER again. IT WAS AWESOME. I can't remember another TV show that ended the way it should have done, not even Lost (and I LOVED Lost).
There is no way that a 2 hour movie can even begin to capture the spirit, depth or drama of the recent TV show - if it tries, which I don't think it will, it wouldn't do it justice. So where does this leave us? With the possibility of a remake of the original? The original was SH*T! Why bother? WHY?!
Ughhhhh.... I've just about given up on Hollywood. Do something original - PLEASE.
I'll leave you with this... Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Jamie Bamber, Jamie Callis, Ed Olmos, Mary McD, Grace Park, Tahmoh Penikett, Mike Hogan, Aaron Douglas, Alessandro Juliani, Michael Trucco, Donnelly Rhodes... you guys ruled the TV for 5 years and made the best entertainment I've EVER seen on the TV or the silver screen - you were and are the best of the best.
People. Who would have thought that training a puppy was going to take up sooooo much time and energy?!
Ok - I did. I knew it was going to be a lot of work, I knew it would make my skin crawl when the inevitable accidents happened... peeing on the rug, pooping on the kitchen floor then seeing her go to eat it. I saw it all coming, I knew it was going to stressful but I chose to do it anyway. So often in life I see people make decisions like this - why do we do it?
Our guts tell us that it's going to turn out like this but we go ahead anyway. Our guts tell us one thing (in my case, 99% of the time it's giving me the right advice) but we our heads tell us the opposite and we follow what our crooked thinking tells us. I have a theory...
I think we chose to listen to our heads rather than our guts because we like to think of ourselves as an evolved, intelligent species - using our enlarged craniums to guide the way, somehow being able to compute millions of variables and possible outcomes with possible solutions - on the fly, to a high degree of accuracy. Why would I believe that when I count out the letters of my passwords on my fingers when my internet-banking site asks for the 3rd and 8th letters? :) When we hear our guts, no matter how in-tuned we are to what we hear it telling us, it reminds us that we were once animals - eating our poop and peeing on the proverbial lamp-posts of 100,000 B.C. (or whenever it was before our ape-like ancestors started shedding body hair and growing grey matter). We don't like it, we're no longer animals, we're evolved, clever, cunning, masters of our destinies. I think we listen to the often misleading - media-swamped, government conditioned, pseudo-babble - inner monologue that our brains spit out - because it flatters our egos to think we're super intelligent.
But anyway... enough of that waffle. It's Sunday and although Sundays are a good time to read a broadsheet with your morning coffee and engage in "isn't it terrible what's going in the Congo" type conversation with your brunch-pals, instead of fingering through the copy US magazine you 'borrowed' from your girlfriend, there is a time and place for such navel-contemplated - and now is not it or there.
Our puppy... We wake in the morning to find a pile of poop on the kitchen floor. When ever she needs to pee we often can't get to her in time if we see her do her pre-pee / sniffing the ground and going in circles routine. When we're not around or there to see the pre-pee routine it's 50/50 as to whether or not she goes on the pee-pad (disgusting diaper-like-but-flat paper things that lay on the floor for your puppy to slash all over, if it remembers where to go... When we leave her alone when she doesn't want to be alone she'll dump a load on the floor and if she's really upset, she'll eat it (that's right folks! MING CENTRAL!!!). Or she'll pee right next to the pee-pad, not ON it, NEXT TO it. Mother-F-er!!! :)
But I have to admit, as much as training her is difficult and not a quick process, when she does go outside and not inside the apartment I'm filled with joy (relief? joy and relief? - whatever) and it feels GOOD! She's a little star in all honesty. She doesn't howl or cry endlessly when she's on her own, she behaves herself most of the time and loves to be around people. She loves to play with children and other dogs - big and small - a real star. Although my near-OCD like tendencies kick in every time I spot an accident, or think about where her paws have been as she runs around the apartment... I love her and don't regret the day we brought her home from the pet store one little bit.
Now, before I sign off... puppy training tips people - gimme some!! A-woooooooowwwwww! :)
That's right folks, my transformation from a hard nosed Scouser hailing from Liverpool to an accessorized guns-for-show, knives-for-a-pro style New Yawker is complete... I have a dog! We have a dog. She's AWESOME!!
Thankfully, although it looks like one of those annoying little "purse pooches" - it's not. And while it's breed sounds a little girlie (it's a puggle) she's going to grow to a sturdy 20lbs or so. The trick to avoid having to put my testicles completely in the box on the bedside table next to Miss Musical's side of the bed is keeping my love's musical theatre, super girly, excitement contained as much as possible... ;)
For example. While I was racing to the pet store last night to pay for the dog and pick her up before the store closed, Miss Musical was going to Petco to buy the necessities for having a puppy in our apartment for the first night ever... and here's what she bought...
- One leash, pink.
- One leash collar, pink.
- One rain coat, also pink.
<-----breath----->
- Training toilet / pee-pads? Not so much.
- Sh*t bags? Not so much.
- Food? Not so much.
<-----sigh------>
Well, at least she did buy a carry-case to transport the little bundle of puppy-poop back to our apartment. :)
Haha. I had to laugh, she's a total rock star really. Gotta love her!!
So far, so good. We have managed to avoid pandering to her crying, she stops within minutes of starting because we don't pay her any attention. We taught her to sit! Possibly the coolest thing, ever. We (sort of) taught her to crap / slash on the pee-pad. It's 50/50 so far.... but she looks like a quick learner!
And while the thought of walking her outside with a pink leash and collar did make me feel a little sick inside, I pulled it off with my masculinity fully intact this afternoon. I've never HAD so much female attention in all my life!!
I haven't blogged in a while. Partly because I haven't felt hugely inspired to write, so I don't just want to write about just anything, but also because I've been CRAZY busy. Miss Musical finished her run of shows at the end of June (which were awesome, she totally rocked if I do say so myself!), she just returned to New York and on the 28th June we moved in together! We've been wrapping, packing and unpacking all week. Oh, not to mention that my clients have been kicking me from corner to corner - this City has some insane personalities, I swear to God. Any mafia based movie or politically based movie you have seen is REAL - just times it by like 1000 and then you're just about there. But that's another blog post...
Today I'm blogging because it's 4th July weekend and I'm feeling inspired to write again. This was SUCH a great weekend to be in New York City. People going nuts for the red, white and blue. Cops out in their hundreds up and down the avenues and the streets. The weather was pushing 100 degrees. Thousands of people trying to find a good spot to see the fireworks... it was brilliant. Check out some of the pictures I took... I'm pretty chuffed with them! WDYT?
Perhaps this is because we Brits exaggerate our perception of Amercans, you know - the gung-ho stars and stripe kissing yanks who scream "U! S! A!! U! S! A!!" while beating their chests, chugging Bud Lite and listening to Springsteen - but it really wasn't like that. Well, we did watch the fireworks from our apartment window, but the City was pretty quiet during the day. People went about the shops and were out having brunch, that kind of thing. And while the sidewalks below us were filled with people trying to get a glimpse of the fireworks, they were all just merry, happy, enjoying the moment. I didn't see or hear anyone going particularly nuts. They were just whooping and cheering. I also didn't get any stick for my British accent during the day which I bet my soon-to-be lynched for being a limey ass that I would have done!
Well done Americans! Well done New York! I really enjoying watching you all celebrate your independence. Who really gives a monkey's about the price of tea anyway? :)
Although I hate to think of myself as someone who stereotypes, someone who conforms or lives his life in any way as a cliche... I would be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes I fall into the trap. Consciously but mainly unconsciously I guess we all fall into the trap to one degree or another.
I saw a guy wearing an Argentinian soccer / football shirt this morning on the subway and though, "cheating b*stard!" (~reference Mexico 1986, the 'Hand of God' from one Senior Diego Maradona.
I spoke with my bank on the phone the other week and when the Indian national answered the phone (our UK banks and retailers off-shore just about everything now) I thought I was going to have to repeat everything I was going to say and get a terrible customer service. It wasn't like that at all.
But then it's not just attitudes, this weekend I woke up every morning with a semi. Haha!! Yep, I'm a man, can't help it. Especially waking to see Miss Musical's delectable boat-race every day. (~reference www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/boat_race)
TEST!
Here's one of those irritating, but often irresistible, chain emails that I received today (from a friend in Eastern Europe of all places!)...
Is this really what men and women are like today? I f*cking hope not!! :)
Let's see how I did... comments, jibes, insults and general p*ss taking welcome!
Nicknames
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
TRUE for me and my guy friends...!! Oh no, not a good start... 0-1!
Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
TRUE!! Bugger... 0-2 after 2.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
TRUE!! 0-3. Damn these clever spam writing Eastern Europeans, or whom ever and where ever they are!!
Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
NOT TRUE!! 1-3. Although I'm NOT sure that I should admit to this... I have teeth whitening things, bubble bath (and it wasn't a gift... haha), several different brands of aftershave, men's facial/exfoliating/moisturising products, advil, advil delux, advil extreme and a bunch of fibre pills, vitamin tablets and other tree-hugging herbal supplements from Whole Foods, god bless 'em.
Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
My last relationship? TRUE! My fiancee and I? Not true! We don't argue, we talk openly and it hasn't escalated there yet. But my guess would be that if we ever do argue, all people do at some point, that she wouldn't be like that and we wouldn't be like that. She rocks. We rock. 2-3.
Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Haha. I can't say. I'm not worrying about the future now that I'm engaged. I doubt that will change. 3-3 and the equalizer!!
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
NOT TRUE - for me at least!! I'm blessed with a girlfriend who (so far at least! ;) values me more than my cash and knows we'll get by together on whatever we have. ROCK STAR. 4-3 and I'm taking the lead!!
Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NOT TRUE! I wear a suit and tie to work and enjoy doing so. I HAVE to though... outside of work? As soon as the snow disappears and until it returns I'm typically found wearing cargo shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops!! Haha. Love it. Although I do get tarted up to go out on the town or out to dinner, that sort of thing. I think I'll give myself a point for this one. 5-3 baby! Bring it!
Nature
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
No comment. For my part of the question and for my own sake by not answering Miss Musical's part. Next question. Haha. ;) 5-4, maybe. This makes the last question interesting...
Offspring
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house!
Hmm... While we British do love the thought of sending our 6 day old children off to boarding school and not having to deal with them until they turn 18 - at which point they're out the door and off to fend for themselves to help them build character - I don't think this one is going to be true. Miss Musical is going to be a kick-ass mum and I know that I'm going to be a kick-ass dad.
So... 6-4 to the Modern Man over the stereotypes!! WOOHOO!!
So I guess this isn't technically an ode. Not simply because I don't know how to compose one technically, but more so because I was actually taught how to write them during my high school years, during English Language classes, however I'm fairly certainly I thought poetry was for girls so I didn't pay enough attention. I'm fairly certain that instead of listening and learning I was either drilling a hole in the front of my desk with my compass or I was blotting dry on tissue paper the 150 ink cartridges my mum had bought me for my fountain pen. I used to break open the plastic casing to add the little pearl-like plastic balls that control the ink flow to my collection (I had hundreds and hundreds of them)...
Regardless, whatever I was doing - I wasn't learning how to compose an ode. So here's my best effort... But first... Why an ode? And why an ode to my girlfriend's bum? (her 'arse' for my follow Brits and 'ass' for my fellow Americanos).
Don't get me wrong, contrary to what a reader of this blog post may assume, I'm not a shallow person and my girlfriend/fiancee/life-long lady and love of my life and we have the most wonderfully deep and meaningful relationship. It's incredible on so many different levels, I think EVERY single level in fact. I respect her, admire her and love her more than anything. In terms of her physical form, she knows I go weak at the knees just by looking at her smile let alone anything else! She has eyes that make me smoulder inside when they meets mine. Her smile makes me melt. I have to stop myself from kissing her lips whenever she talks. We're talking Helen of Troy meets Monica Potter means Julia Roberts. More specifically, she also knows what I think of her bum. (To any ladies or gents wondering if this little online indulgence would offend my lovely Miss Musical, rest assured that she has signed-off of my little alpha-male, caveman like need to adore her derrière in this way. I refer back to one of my previous statements - incredible relationship on so many different levels. This is one of them.)
Every guy who loves his girlfriend, fiancee, wife, or who is single but has a crush, has a part of his beloved's form that he favours the most. Sorry, that puts it's far too mildly. Let's try again...
Every guy who loves his lady friend goes INSANE for a specific part of her body. There can be more than one part that gets the applause and the attention, probably several different parts at least I'm sure, but I bet my 42inches of HD surround sound Samsung manufactured beauty (yes, this is a guy's guy post, forgive me) that there is one part of a gentleman's better half, above all others, that a he adores the most...
Adores... Can't take his eyes off... Thinks about when she's not there... Salivates at the thought of seeing... Gets a semi at the thought of touching... Secretly wants to take photos of and show them to friends and strangers alike at random... Wants to kneel down in public to kiss it, lick it, bite it, grab it...
...lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
Well - simply put people, my lady's bum, her derrière, her posterior - it's incredible. Insane. Delicious. Perfect. Fantastic. A-mah-mah-mah-mazing. AMAZING! It truly is THE world's most sensational bottom. Bum. Arse. Ass. Pick your favourite term.
She has it. I love it.
What's it like? I'd love to show you a photo but alas - this I'm keeping for myself I'm afraid. It's mine, all mine! And while my liddigy-love is happy for me to talk about her bum, I didn't ask her if it was ok to plaster photos of it online (!) so I'll play it on the safe side and keep this little treasure to myself. :o)
I'll try and describe it for you instead...
Curvier than Scarlett Johansson's bum in Lost in Translation...?
Yes. Remember how Scarlett's perfect peach lay there during the whole opening credits of Lost in Translation? How the men in the movie theatres had to readjust themselves in their seats during this opening 120 seconds or so... Yes, better than that.
Firmer than Jessica Biel's formidable rump in Blade Trinity...?
Hell yes! You can slap it, it wobbles once then just sits there, as if defying Newton's laws of physics and all the laws of gravity.
More pert, enticing and grabable (new word, it's mine) than Evangeline Lilly's...?
Oh lord, I'd have to say yes again. For sure, mais oui mes amis. Yes. It make's poor old Kate from Lost's bum look like that of a school boy's.
Better than Beyonce and Shakira's combined junk in the trunk in that Beautiful Liar music video...?!
Without question!! Not as large but with all the shape. Not as overwhelming on her frame but just as spectacular. You can keep your lovely ladies Jay-Z and Mr Shakira dude, whomever you may be.
I could go on and on... as you can probably tell, my love for lover's love bumper knows no end.
And so, my love, to end any confusion, My passion, for your bum, is no allusion. I'll draw this blog post to a conclusion, And say your posterior commands my love profusion...
Hot damn!! I really should have paid more attention to Mr Harrison in English class!!
So much has happened to me over the past 12 months that sometimes I wonder how my head doesn't spend all of its time spinning on top of my shoulders.
Over the past 12 months I have gone through so many different, earth moving changes, each of them deserves its own blog post put to sum them up quickly...
1. I moved my whole life from one continent to another, leaving England and starting over in NYC.
2. I achieved the greatest success and accomplishment of my career to date in London, with the second largest client in my field, to only then land a job with THE biggest client in my field - in the world - in NYC. A bigger role, a bigger gig, higher stakes, the 'eyes of the world on me' kind of gig.
3. Through diet and exercise I managed to lose 120lbs / 9 stone going from a fat and mushy 350lbs / 27 stone to my now healthy 230lbs / 18 stone weight which I'm managing to maintain.
4. The relationship I was in for around 2-3 years ended at the start of the summer when my then-girlfriend left me. That sounds worse than it is, because it was a relationship that wasn't right for me and wasn't right for her - pretty much right from the beginning. We were together for the wrong reasons, we both needed someone but we weren't the right ones for each other and we had been kidding ourselves for a long old time, certainly I had. It was over about a year before it ended if you know what I mean. She's a star actually, a true star, and we're still really good friends but (and not her fault) it pretty much destroyed all my faith in love, relationships and certainly gave my confidence a swift kick to the dangly region. 5. I regained that confidence by putting myself out there and worked out that I'm actually not a bad catch and that I shouldn't give up on life and love. And then... the most amazing thing that has have ever happened to me... that has me floating on a cloud every single day...
6. My heart was won by the most wonderful, most beautiful, most amazing girl I have ever met. She's so incredible in every way imaginable. My Miss Musical. From first date to falling in love in less time that it took to introduce myself to her, to getting engaged in 12 weeks!!! This really does deserve it's own post... or ten, or more. (If you're reading, honey - you're the best, you're my world. :)
If you look hard enough, you can see where I live... :)
So anyway, back on to this post... A new world.
The latest adventure of the past 12 months has just started since meeting my super-hot Miss Musical. I have been exposed to something I thought I knew, at least enough to say 'been there, got the t-shirt' and move on without paying it much attention, but how wrong I was...!
What is it? Musical Theatre. Yep, I didn't see it coming! (My wonderful Miss Musical is a stage actress, singer and dancer you see...)
My friends will not believe me, not me, not me and musical theatre. Not in the same sentence. I was (and still am) a kind of 'jock', as you Americanos call them. Working out, not dancing. Playing lots of sport (rugby, football, golf...), not playing characters. Acting the fool, not acting. Watching Hollywood action movies galore, not watching glamourous shows on Broadway. I did do English Literature at A-Level (High School, junior and senior years), but drama? acting? musicals? ME? Nope! But yes, I'm getting drawn in. In fact, I AM drawn in. My eyes have been opened to an whole new world of working, entertainment, ambition, personalities, celebrity...
Small aside: This is one of the great things about Match.com by the way, meeting people you would never have met otherwise... I went out on dates with a TV producer, an opera singer, an artist/painter, a nurse... And my finally, my love, an actress in the world of Broadway and theatre. (I'm a management consultant by the way, my world is business change and project management. The closest I get to 'the biz' is holding the door open for Jon Stewart at Bubby's in Tribeca or celeb spotting in the Meat Packing district on a Saturday night.)
All of a sudden I'm watching broadway shows and plays on a weekly basis. I'm meeting people in 'the biz' who talk about completely different things, who have completely different work ethics and routines, who are driven by fairly different passions and different goals. My eyes have been opened up. It's hard to process it all! It's amazing, it really is. Everyone LOVES what they do, they love it. They're all so friendly, approachable and fun loving too. Not what I was expecting. I haven't come across any divas yet, or snooty types. They've all been great and very welcoming of me.
It's quite overwhelming at the same time too though, at least it can be. Not all the time, but just now and then.
Tonight for example, I picked up Miss Musical from rehearsal and we went to dinner with four of the cast and a few of the band members. I sat there for about half an hour without really having any idea what they were talking about or having anything to contribute! Haha. This is strange for me as people who know me can tell you. I'm not a genius but I'd say that I have above average intelligence and I'm great at meeting people, talking to anyone, making friends - I'm 'safe hands' socially, basically. Put me anywhere with anyone and I'm generally fine, I'll rock the show. Today, however, with a dozen actors and musicians, all talking about musicals and shows that I've never heard of before, naming actors who only real hardcore broadway followers MIGHT have heard of... It was tough to get involved. I was fine, but it's not often that I feel behind the curve. They were all awesome though and made me feel very welcome, plus Miss Musical has such a great way of making me feel completely at ease - wanted, loved, included, without any effort or trying really and without sacrificing her personality or her natural way of interacting with her friends and colleagues. She amazing. AH-MAY-ZZZING (am I making myself clear??). It's been a long time since I've felt out of my depth. I love the challenge of learning about a new corner or culture though. It's interesting and exciting even though it's a little challenging at times. Awesome.
The other side of this little world I knew nothing about though is the lifestyle. I work Mon-Fri, 8am to 6pm mostly. Miss Musical's last show ran for say a month or so in Florida. After a week or two of intense rehearsals, sometimes singing and dancing for 12 hours or MORE straight (?!?!?) they then went into their opening night (which was AWESOME - another blog post to write) after which they could spend all day at the beach or by the pool. They just had to be at the theatre 6 nights a week between 6pm and 10.30pm, 2 shows on a Saturday, but that was it essentially for a whole month! YES PLEASE!!! Where do I sign up for that?!?!? Haha.
Can you imagine?! I run my own company and there is inherant flexibility with that, but still - nothing in comparison to this past show of my love's. Then again, I earn about 5 or 6 times as much as she does. But then again, again, I'm learning that it's not about money though. I love my job, really do, but I work to make money essentially, even though I do believe in what I do. I help save lives, I help police and fire departments save more lives, respond faster. But the money keeps me keen. Miss Musical could make boat loads doing anything else really but she loves loves LOVES what she does. And she's so frickin' good at it!!!! It's incredible to witness and it's actually really inspirational to me. I am inspired. She has found something that gets her out of bed, that's she loves to do and that she's reeeeeally good at! Her reviews for her last show in the press... and I'm paraphrasing here...
Miss Musical "steals the show...", she "has what it takes... sexy, funny, perfect timing... amazing voice...", the "next big thing out of..." where ever.
For me, my clients get sick of me telling them they're doing their jobs wrong or that they could do them better. Often they don't want to hear it. God forbid anyone could point any kind of finger blame in their direction for anything. Many of the people I work with day to day don't care too much about their jobs or what they're doing, there is no pride. They talk shit by the water cooler trying to waste away a few extra minutes of their day so they can go home sooner. I'm in a profession where there aren't many professionals. Even the professionals you do find are often not capable of doing what you need them to. Of the dozens and dozens and dozens of people I have worked with I would only really rate or recommend (or trust!) around 5 or 6. Can you believe that?! That's over 11 years of doing what I do, across 4 continents, dozens of projects, dozens of clients. 10 people I would trust to do a good job, trust with my reputation. No one strives to be the best or do their best. Most of these people anyway. Everyone here however, from the actors, the musicians, the lighting guys, the producers, the girl who runs backstage - they all love their jobs and try their hardest AND have boat loads of fun doing it! I sometimes wonder if they're all on drugs, drinking the love medicine. Is this a cult?! Haha.
Anyway... tonight.
Here am in Pennsylvania, at a beautiful theatre tucked away in the mountains, in the forrest by the Appalachain trail. Miss Musical's show has come here for 6 weeks and I'm here for her opening weekend. Tonight is 'Gypsy Night' - it's the night before opening night, their last dress rehearsal. I'm sat in a virtually empty theatre hall (sorry 'house') watching the cast go through the show bit by bit. I was expecting a straight forward run through of the show but they're stopping and re-tuning bits of the act, playing with the lighting, working the sound levels, changing the way a few lines here and there are delivered. It's so interesting!!! I had no idea how many different things go into to putting on a show. Of course, I knew it was hard work and they'd be working their asses off but I had no idea how technical it is. The positioning of the lighting, how the mic/sound levels differ along the stage and up/down the stage. Transitioning from one set to the next. Positioning of hands, eyes, fingers!!
It's really exciting watching it all come together. And what's more, Miss Musical is just so nice to me!!! She's the star in this show, working her ass off, doing her job and what she does professionally but she's just going out of her to make me feel included! I'd be happy just to sit and watch and not get in the way but in between takes she blows kisses to me and when they take breaks she comes into the house to sit with me and give me a quick hug and hello. I fall in love with this girl more and more, day after day, more and more and more. I'm speechless!! Literally speechless. She's so good to me. Sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve such a beautiful gift in my life. I'm grateful every day for her.
So... It's midnight and besides a 90min dinner break, they've been working solid since 12pm.
The director called it a night just now as everyone started to look really knackered!! They made it all the way through act 1 and half way through act 2. Tomorrow afternoon they'll run through act 2 twice then act 1 once before putting on the show with a real live audience!!!
Miss Musical has done this show a few times in other productions at different theatres so she's all over it. Rock star. Her supporting actors are all new to the show and although they're all doing an amazing job of picking it all up (really impressive job!) they haven't yet settled into their characters fully and their timing is a little off. Also, the band hasn't played together enough yet and it's not tight - at all. They've only had just over 1 week of rehearsals and they're professionals, they'll pull it together in time. Plus, who the hell am I to comment!?! My one attempt at acting was when I played the lead alien at a junior school play when I was 10. I was supposed to die after my 11th line, I think, but I died after my second line and just lay there on the stage. The cast and my head teacher / principle were left stunned not knowing what the hell to do. Haha.
If you have read some of my initial posts, you will have picked up on the fact that I've recently moved to the States from England and during the small amount of time that I've lived here I've been fortunate enough to the meet the girl of my dreams and we're engaged to married!!!
She's beautiful, funny, intelligent, hilarious to be around, has the biggest heart - so generous and thoughtful - has so many friends who adore her (over 900 on Facebook who she is close to all of them, compared to my previously impressive 250!) and well... I can't say enough about her. I love her like crazy!!
Like a good episode of Lost, I'm going to start with the present here and then show you the past on another blog post...
On May 15th, in the early hours, on a beach in Florida under the stars and in the moonlight, I proposed... she said yes!! In fact, she not only did she said yes - she said yes then got down on one knee with me and proposed right back! Pretty awesome, right? (She is an actress though, a leading lady in fact, so let's face it - I never had a hope of up-staging her. Haha! :)
The most amazing part, well - not as amazing as actually being lucky enough to find the person you want to share your life with more than anything else in the world - but pretty amazing is that we only met 3 months ago. We had our first date on Feb 5th! My finacee and I, Miss Musical, met on Match.com. I was a cynic of internet dating I have to say, but it was a fun experience. I met a lot of new people, made a few friends and went to a lot of cool places in the city I didn't know about at the time! Most importantly though... I met my wonderful Miss Musical.
We're so happy. Both so excited as are our families. The fact that it has only been 3 months isn't the odd thing for me, which it is for some of my friends who worry it's too fast (only the minority!). So many of my friends and family couldn't be more supportive and happy for us (I think my Dad is the happiest of all and he doesn't get excited about anything besides playing golf or watching Mel Brooks movies!) but the odd thing is that I didn't think love like this existed. Here is it though!! And WOW! I was happy before I met my wife-to-be, and I believe that you and you alone can determine your own happiness, but she makes every colour beam brighter than before and what we have gives me more contentment, joy and pleasure than I ever thought possible.
Did I say I'm happy? I'm happy people! Overwhelmed with happiness! Miss Musical - you ROCK!!!
Ok... I'll draw a line under the happy now for fear of you reaching for the bucket instead of the mouse to keep scrolling down the page...! :)
Here's to the future and hoping everyone finds the kind of love this love-drunk moron has found!
If you haven't watched Lost before and have any interest in ever watching it from the beginning DO NOT read this blog post (skip onto another one of my posts!!).
BUT... if, like me, you have been a devoted follower for the past 6 years - you will know that the show is now over AND you know (or at least you think you know) how it all ended. And I'm sure, that like me, the millions of male fans out there are maybe more sad about the fact that we're no longer able to drool over the lovely Kate each week. (Miss Musical - if you're reading this, I love you and you rock my world every day! *GRAB* But I'm just saying... oh Kate, goodbye to my TV girlfriend...)
Anyway... for those who have seen the finale... please for God's sake help me work out what happened!! :)
So... **FINAL SPOILER ALERT**
They are all dead.
They are all connected to each other in some way.
Now that they have found peace, come to terms with their problems and who they are, they can now move on together... to heaven or whatever in the cosmos. Right? (Besides Ben who has more stuff to work out).
BUT:
1. Were they still alive on the Island after they crash landed? I think so.
2. When they died on the Island, they travelled to the parallel universe / alternate reality (the reality set in LA that we have been watching throughout Season 6) where they sorted out their problems. Like Jack invented a son whom he worked through his own father/son issues with through that invented relationship with the invented son. Right?
If yes, then I can live with that. I guess that kind of makes sense, but then what is the Island? A place where evil exists and good people try to keep it at bay? A gateway to the next life where you're morals and beliefs and challenged? If they were all dead on the Island, then how can you explain the Darhma people who came the island voluntarily, without being involved in a terrible plane crash? And Juliette, who came voluntarily by invitation from Richard and that mysterious tall thin black guy?
3. Although they were all in the church in the parallel LA reality at the end, it was a place where time doesn't exist - so although Hurley and Ben didn't die on the island during the show, they could have lived for another 50 years before dying, but would still be in the church in LA in the same 'time' because time itself has no place there. Right?
4. What about Hurley's numbers? How was that explained?
5. Where did the woman come from who was on the Island when Jacob and the Man in Black (his brother) were born, whose mother she killed?
6. Was the light in the well divine light? Like the light that came out of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark?
7. Desmond - why did he know more about what was going in the alternate LA reality? And why did Daniel Whitmore's mum know who he was and asked him if he was going to take her son from her?
My brain is tying itself in knots!!
Thoughts anyone??
Having caused myself a certain level of anxiety whilst tapping out those 7 points, I did LOVE LOVE LOVE the show and unlike Alias, JJ Abrams first major successful TV show which I also loved, I really enjoyed the ending. (The Alias ending SUCKED).
Blog me back people, the Tall Englishman is in need of help!!
As you may have worked out, I'm new to the world of blogging.
I didn't like the choice of templates that eBlogger presented me with so I thought I'd see what Google suggested... oh my GOD! How much choice?! Without wanting to or realizing it I have essentially spent the best part of 2 hours surfing through pages and pages and pages of blog templates that are free to download!
At first I thought this was a great thing - lots of choice, lots of scope to make my blog individual and unique... what it actually turned out to be was 120 mins of looking at things that we're ok at first glace, then lame. Lame at first sight, then cool, but for girls. Then cool but difficult to customize. The easy to customize but laaaaaaame... urrghhh...
So what you see here as my blog is right now is the result of too much choice and not enough patience to find something I couldn't live without... it's ok I guess. I'm done surfing...
When it comes to something as inconsequential as this - pick something and stick with it, that's my thought for the day.
That's right! That's what most people over here in the US say when they find out where I'm from...
So... what else? Here's a short history of Liverpool... I'm sure there are lots of people who are proud of where they come from, I'm one of them. Liverpool. I'm a Liverpudlian, or a Scouser.
After the Romans left the British Isles a bunch of stuff happened in the North West of England where Liverpool is, which I know next to nothing about. At some point, I believe during the potato famine, boatloads of Irish people starting shipping out all over the world. I'm pretty sure this is why you will find an Irish pub in pretty much any city, any country, anywhere in the world. Some of the more adventurous Irish folk went to New York and the new world. Some even more adventurous folk made it to Africa (I've personally drank in an Irish pub in the middle of bumble-f*ck nowhere in Mapumalanga, South Africa, 3 hours east of JoBurg). The less adventurous Irish went to the UK though. They landed on the North West coast of England and dispersed all over the UK, some even making it over to continental Europe. Note: Brussels? Dozens of Irish pubs.
BUT the least adventurous ones made it to the NW coast of England and... they stayed there. They landed, they brought their Guiness, they camped out and they've been sat in a wealth of different pubs all over Liverpool and the Merseyside area ever since. Hundreds of years of former-Irish folk sitting in pubs, drinking, fighting, watching football, gambling on the horses. That's us! We're the Irish too lazy to do anything else. Starving in Ireland? Booooo!! Land? Woohoo!! *drink*. (You could argue that the even less adventurous Irish settled on the Isle of Mann - in the middle of the sea between Ireland and Liverpool England, but they probably thought that this little island was England... bless 'em).
Ship building, merchant trading and dock working was what made Liverpool's economy boom over the 1800 and early 1900s. Dockers went home to their wives who, because most working class people were poor as hell, made cheap Irish stew with whatever they could get their hands on. This stew is called Scouse and today people from Liverpool are known as Scousers.
Anyway, since landing in Liverpool and staying there we Liverpudians have had some special things to be proud of and celebrate over recent decades. In the 60s and 70s the little band called the Beatles made it big! Ever heard of them? In the 70s and 80s Liverpool Football Club was pretty much the most successful club in England and Europe.
Then the 80s stuck... Maggie Thatcher, Poll Tax, unemployment. The booming docking town of Liverpool started to decline and the former-Irish did what they do best... Drink! Drinking led to fighting, stealing even rioting in the case of the anti-Poll Tax demonstrations. Today scousers are known for these things... Car crime, stealing anything that isn't nailed down, playing football (in the 80s our footballers rocked perms with big moustaches), fighting anyone who fancies a go or just fighting anyone who is in swinging distance after a few beers, whether the other person in swinging distance fancies it or not!! Haha.
We Scousers laugh this off though and roll with the punches (literally!). We wear our history like a badge with pride. The city has turned around and is an awesome place to visit these days and I loved growing up there. Here's a commercial that Reebok ran to advertise the new yellow Liverpool Football Club team shirts, plastered all over Liverpool and the country. Hilarious, right?
Most recently, Liverpool shot into comedic celebrity fame when a London TV comic and his friends put on a weekly sketch called, The Scousers, about the antics of Baz (Barry), Ga (Gary) and Teh (Terry)... Absolutely hilarious and they still make me and I'm sure every other Scouser alive laugh out loud....! So there you have it. The abridged, probably highly inaccurate but hilarious history of my home town.
Eh fella! A'right?! As we say in Liverpool for just about everything.
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