Sunday, September 5, 2010

Battlestar Galactica MOVIE in 2011? NOOOOOO!

People, greetings.

I'm writing to you this evening feeling rather sick, twisted up inside and wanting to VOM. Apparently, Bryan Singer (X-Men, Superman Returns, Valkyrie) is going to write, produce and direct (you know it's going to be bad already, a-la the recent George Lucas approach to the new Star Wars and Indy movies, e-hem) a remake of the original Battlestar Galactica series from the 1980s. WHY?! WHY GOD DAMN IT, WHY?!?!

The original was CHEESY. It was a Star Wars knock-off when everyone realised that George Lucas was on to something and the space-opera was not a joke, not a waste of cash but a potential gold-mine. All sorts of sci-fi knock offs started to appear. This was TERRIBLE, although as a pre-10 year old boy in love with spaceships I did sort of like it (what did I know?! I was a dumb kid) - but it didn't come close to Star Wars. Anyway. Back to Bryan Singer. Really? Come on.

Usual Suspects was AMAZING. I'd give it 10/10 and;
X-Men was AMAZING. I'd give it 9/10.

But... those movies were 15 years ago and 10 years ago!!! Everything since then has essentially been PANTS. And lets take a quick look-see...
e.g.1: Superman Returns - utter disappointment, long, boring, pointless, crap. 2/10
e.g.2: Valkyrie - ok, not bad. But not great either. Yawn. Action. Yawn. Action. End. Does anyone really remember ANY of that movie? Really? I didn't think so...

Yes, he did co-produce the TV series 'House' but come on... seriously. What about JJ Abrams? Paul Greengrass? Hell, I'd take Jonathan Frakes over Bryan Singer for this movie. Anyway - I'll stop attacking ol' Bryan because I do respect him and keep holding out for that next big Usual Suspects-like movie. You can do it dude, just try harder!! But for Christ's sake - it's not going to be Battlestar sodding Galactica - the remake. No. Come on. No no no.

BSG was remade and re-imaged already, 2005-2009. It was AMAZING. It just ended. 4 solid, earth shattering seasons, last year. LAST YEAR, man!! Didn't you see it?!  Come on, yes you did man. Yes you did.


BSG was INCREDIBLE. Starbuck's a bird (Katee Sackhoff - YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!! Oh my god you rocked). Edward James Olmos, Jamie Bamber (Hammersmith in the house! Represent!), James Callis (possibly the best character in a TV show - EVER), Tricia Helfer (HOLY JESUS she could act and she was HOT!) and Grace Park (I sat next to her in a restaurant in Hawaii recently!) and more. The stories, the plotlines - did I say this already? They were amazing. The themes they used, the angles they took, the bare, blunt, frighteningly real questions that we're faced with today played out in front of us every week, set in a dark, chaotic world. Forget the sci-fi element - this was a human story, a story about who we are, what we're capable of or not capable of as a race, as people, as individuals. It challenged the deepest, darkest aspects of our psyches and some our most cherished beliefs. It was engaging on so many different levels and the end of each season just got better and better until finally, the end of Season 4 - the final ever episode split across 2.5 hours of mesmerising television - I'll never forget it and I have watched it over and over and OVER again. IT WAS AWESOME. I can't remember another TV show that ended the way it should have done, not even Lost (and I LOVED Lost).


There is no way that a 2 hour movie can even begin to capture the spirit, depth or drama of the recent TV show - if it tries, which I don't think it will, it wouldn't do it justice. So where does this leave us? With the possibility of a remake of the original? The original was SH*T! Why bother? WHY?!

Ughhhhh.... I've just about given up on Hollywood. Do something original - PLEASE.

I'll leave you with this... Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Jamie Bamber, Jamie Callis, Ed Olmos, Mary McD, Grace Park, Tahmoh Penikett, Mike Hogan, Aaron Douglas, Alessandro Juliani, Michael Trucco, Donnelly Rhodes... you guys ruled the TV for 5 years and made the best entertainment I've EVER seen on the TV or the silver screen - you were and are the best of the best.

Frak the Singer movie! Frak! Frak! Frak!

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