Modern Man or Ape in a Suit?

Although I hate to think of myself as someone who stereotypes, someone who conforms or lives his life in any way as a cliche... I would be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes I fall into the trap. Consciously but mainly unconsciously I guess we all fall into the trap to one degree or another.

• I saw a guy wearing an Argentinian soccer / football shirt this morning on the subway and though, "cheating b*stard!" (~reference Mexico 1986, the 'Hand of God' from one Senior Diego Maradona.
• I spoke with my bank on the phone the other week and when the Indian national answered the phone (our UK banks and retailers off-shore just about everything now) I thought I was going to have to repeat everything I was going to say and get a terrible customer service. It wasn't like that at all.
• But then it's not just attitudes, this weekend I woke up every morning with a semi. Haha!! Yep, I'm a man, can't help it. Especially waking to see Miss Musical's delectable boat-race every day. (~reference www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/boat_race)

TEST!

Here's one of those irritating, but often irresistible, chain emails that I received today (from a friend in Eastern Europe of all places!)...

Is this really what men and women are like today? I f*cking hope not!! :)

Let's see how I did... comments, jibes, insults and general p*ss taking welcome!

Nicknames

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
• TRUE for me and my guy friends...!! Oh no, not a good start... 0-1!

Eating Out

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• TRUE!! Bugger... 0-2 after 2.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
• TRUE!! 0-3. Damn these clever spam writing Eastern Europeans, or whom ever and where ever they are!!

Bathrooms

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
• NOT TRUE!! 1-3. Although I'm NOT sure that I should admit to this... I have teeth whitening things, bubble bath (and it wasn't a gift... haha), several different brands of aftershave, men's facial/exfoliating/moisturising products, advil, advil delux, advil extreme and a bunch of fibre pills, vitamin tablets and other tree-hugging herbal supplements from Whole Foods, god bless 'em.

Arguments

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
• My last relationship? TRUE! My fiancee and I? Not true! We don't argue, we talk openly and it hasn't escalated there yet. But my guess would be that if we ever do argue, all people do at some point, that she wouldn't be like that and we wouldn't be like that. She rocks. We rock. 2-3.

Future

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• Haha. I can't say. I'm not worrying about the future now that I'm engaged. I doubt that will change. 3-3 and the equalizer!!

Success

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• NOT TRUE - for me at least!! I'm blessed with a girlfriend who (so far at least! ;) values me more than my cash and knows we'll get by together on whatever we have. ROCK STAR. 4-3 and I'm taking the lead!!

Dressing Up

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
• NOT TRUE! I wear a suit and tie to work and enjoy doing so. I HAVE to though... outside of work? As soon as the snow disappears and until it returns I'm typically found wearing cargo shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops!! Haha. Love it. Although I do get tarted up to go out on the town or out to dinner, that sort of thing. I think I'll give myself a point for this one. 5-3 baby! Bring it!

Nature

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• No comment. For my part of the question and for my own sake by not answering Miss Musical's part. Next question. Haha. ;) 5-4, maybe. This makes the last question interesting...

Offspring

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house!
• Hmm... While we British do love the thought of sending our 6 day old children off to boarding school and not having to deal with them until they turn 18 - at which point they're out the door and off to fend for themselves to help them build character - I don't think this one is going to be true. Miss Musical is going to be a kick-ass mum and I know that I'm going to be a kick-ass dad.

So... 6-4 to the Modern Man over the stereotypes!! WOOHOO!!